Steps in Some Direction

Looking at the sky
I realize that I have not paid nearly enough attention to it over the years
Has it ever been this shade of blue before?
Have I ever seen this shade of blue before?
Have I ever felt this shade of blue before?

And now I am realizing
I have not paid nearly enough attention to anything
But if I close my eyes
I can remember the feeling
Of the sun kissing my skin
After months of hiding
Of warmth from concrete seeping
Into the bones that feel like dust under my skin now

It is January!
There’s a whole year ahead!
And also
It is January.
There’s a whole year ahead.

I am hurting
But I am gliding
At the same time

Holding my breath
Keeping promises
Staying honest
Playing by the rules
As much as I can
One foot forward and maybe the next
If I’m lucky
Taking steps in some direction